05/12/2004 @ 11:05 AM: Freedom! I am free of the academic constraints imposed by my full-time college semester. I took my last final this morning.
Most of my classes ended well, with the usual end-stress-push capping the semester off. One class, however, challenged me like no other: Logic. Yes, Philosophy 1001--a class people twelve years or more my junior are cleared to take--kicked my ass. I have never worked and tried so hard to achieve what is surely to be a dismal grade. The class, in conjunction with a Virtue Ethics class, actually pushed me out of Philosophy as a second major; both were required for the major, and both pleased me about as much as a bad rash on a hot day. In Logic I did my best--which was (hopefully) enough. I hate doing only my best though. I'm reminded of the Sean Connery line from The Rock: "Your best? Losers always complain about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen." (Pardon the expression.) Defeat is what I felt for most of this past weekend and especially when I walked away from completing the Logic final Monday. I never had the breakthrough; I never beat the challenge in front of me. Since returning to school almost three years ago, that is a first. I learned a lot about my learning style, though. I'm a random-sequential, a rare type that absorbs information mostly through observation and hands-on experience. Reading is rarely a way to retain things, and memorization of rules and formulas is more work than I have time for. I struggled with seeing the logic in Logic.
Now I plan to hit the recording studio and work on some projects that have been getting denied attention for the last several weeks. My load of guitar students is also about to double at the music store, so life will be anything but boring. I'll update about all the fun stuff in a few days.